This morning, after observing a couple of my new roommates engage in droll displays of loveydoveness, I had a little epiphany of the power and freedom that my “single” state affords me. Most people belong to or are attached to other people, or else in a pathetic state of wanting to be so attached – the relationship becomes both a strength and a hindrance, at least it appears so to me – but what do I know? Well, I have had some experience with dating, in the mists of the past. Maybe I’m codependent and so I color all relationships I see as codependent – it’s possible. But I don’t feel very dependent at all, in that emotional / physical way. I am not attached, and do not belong, to anyone but myself, and I find this to be the ideal state – the best fit for me.
The “power” this confers on me is that, being unattached, I can attach myself or belong temporarily, in the moment, to anyone I choose, at any given time, then withdraw back into myself before any serious loss of independence occurs. I can share moments of closeness, laughter, intimacy with people, but it’s not a commitment, there is no contract – I refuse to sign a contract. I like the feeling of being completely unfettered and able to do anything I want at any moment without consulting anyone else or compromising my actions because of how they may affect other people. Of course, I still have to compromise in many ways, especially now that I’ve moved back into a cooperative living arrangement – but not to the extent that people in serious, long-term relationships have to. Being single is not loneliness to me – it is freedom.
Now, does this not describe the personality of a cat - many cats, anyway - to a tee?
Speaking of cats...I wore my kittycat T-shirt out on the town last night (you can see it in the photo above! although that's from Halloween 2008), and a woman on the train complimented me for it. I've heard SF described as "a dog-lover's city if ever there was one." If that's the case, I'll be going against the grain as usual...
