Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Literary pedigree


I can't decide whether I want to be the male Virginia Woolf, the 21st-century Edgar Allan Poe, or the gay Charles Bukowski. I guess all three blended together, with a side of my own special sauce. (Photo above is a pop-art portrait of Poe that I found online - unattributed to the artist.)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

OK, San Francisco...

I've been on the fence, but I've made my decision - I am committing. You and I are officially going steady. I belong to YOU now. Hopefully for a good long time. I think it's the view from the living room of the house I just moved into (on the top of Mt. Davidson) that pushed me over the edge. I'll have to take some photos when I have a good camera again - it is truly mind-blowing! I have once again stumbled onto a miracle, it would seem. How quickly things change...

Sunday, May 16, 2010

brain vs. body

My sense of being a character in my own novel has been particularly strong lately. I really think that, more than most people, I am separated physically and mentally. If I could be pure mind and no body, I think I would be perfectly happy. Physical gratifications - like eating a delicious meal when you've been very hungry - I would miss to a certain extent, but the pros would outweigh the cons. Whether this desire to be rid of the body is "good" or healthy, I'm not sure; but I do have a notion that it will make death easier, when that time comes.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Giant Monsters Attack!


Just back from a talk – very appropriately, in Japantown – called Giant Monsters Attack, part three in the TokyoScope Talk series (the next, on June 11th, is themed “Sex”!) – it kicks off a week-long “Kaiju Shakedown” hosted at the same venue (1746 Polk), starting tomorrow night with a screening of “Godzilla vs. Gigan.” (Visit the VIZ Cinema web site for detailed info.) There was a panel of three hosts, including August Ragone, the author of a book on Eiji Tsuburaya, “Master of Monsters,” which I will have to read. It was a great talk. Not a huge crowd, but good-sized enough – 40 people or so spread through the theater – and good-natured, full of questions both jokey and earnest afterwards. (One guy asked, “Was Godzilla a chick?” ‘He’ did have a son, after all.)

Various clips were shown which were quite good, including soundless super-8-mm footage from one of the early kaiju films of the actor capering around in the Godzilla suit, apparently trying it out for flexibility, as well as the skillful Tokyo “factory women” painstakingly constructing the miniature sets destroyed in the films, gluing each tile and shingle and intricate piece one by one by hand. Also the clip from 70s TV series “Zone Fighter” in which Godzilla makes his first television appearance. One old guy sitting close to me watched every clip with a smile on his face and chuckled at 5-minute intervals throughout the entire program. Very amusing posters from international releases of the films – including very odd and misleading ones from Poland, the Czech Republic, Germany, and America – were shown as well, and newly remastered discs of the original Gamera (the giant flying turtle who was Godzilla’s chief rival in the 60s) were given away by raffle.

The presentation ranged from the birth of the G-film franchise in the 50s to the present day – a new Godzilla film is due to be released this spring! On the more philosophical topic of what Godzilla means or stands for and the difference between Japanese and American giant monster films, there was interesting talk of the Japanese spiritual tradition called Shinto, and the idea of Godzilla as a destructive deity or divine incarnation of nature such as the Hindu goddess Kali – dark and “evil,” in some ways, perhaps, but still a part of the “plan” of nature. This seems an interesting counterbalance to the oft-proposed idea that The Big G is a symbol of the atomic bomb, an unnatural and evil byproduct of humankind. A great talk, and I’m glad I went.

Also discussed was the way that Godzilla and his or her movies function as a "gateway drug" to Japanese (pop) culture, as they certainly have for me.

Overheard on the bus on the way out: a group of drunk German guys on the bus: one of them said, “In Chermany you can pee anywhere, you can’t do that in America, if the police see you, you pay a lot of money, and maybe you go to chail!”

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My romantic life

Today, having finished my morning work shift, for the first time I don't have to dread going home. That's because yesterday evening a friend came over with a rented minivan and helped me move out of the Richmond district flat where I have spent the last month in a state of hostile limbo and into a residential hotel that is going to be my home for the next month or three while I set about rebuilding my life here in San Francisco. It ain't much, but it's mine, and at this point all I want is a little independence, four walls and a roof of my own, until I determine my next more permanent living arrangement - and some permanence in life (and employment) is my main goal at this point.

This city, and the Bay Area in general, have thrown an awful lot at me since I moved here not so long ago (was it really only last September?), but as of this writing, I'm still standing, and I must admit I take a certain pride in surviving the latest in the seemingly endless minefield of setbacks that life (the universe, God, providence, kismet, quantum physics, whathaveyou) has strewn across my path since leaving what looks in retrospect like the womblike and embyronic candy-land of Portland. By the time my time inside the Golden Gate is through, I'll be able to write a book called How to Survive in San Francisco Starting From Absolute Scratch, with the subtitle Despite Moving Here on the Spur of the Moment, Knowing No One, Being Unfamiliar with the Area and Renting a Room Sight-Unseen Over the Phone, Being Mugged at Gunpoint in Oakland, Losing My Job, Being Unemployed and without Income For Nearly Three Months (with Absolutely No Savings), Moving In with a Dishonest and Sexually Inappropriate Maniac, and Being Forced to Apply for Food Stamps and Government Assistance Because I was on the Verge of Being Homeless.

Compared to all that, my life right now - as of last night - seems downright romantic to me, romantic not in the Danielle Steele sense, but in the "starving artist scraping by in the big city, just starting his adult life," novelistic way. I got to eat breakfast and lunch at work this morning, and took home leftovers which I will warm up in the microwave for dinner. I made some tips and got my first paycheck this morning, which I deposited in my checking account, now slowly recovering from my recent depressing dip into total indigence. The building I live in is pretty much equidistant between Chinatown, North Beach and the Financial District - a lively and exhilarating place to spend a month or two while I start over again on a new footing. This evening I will arrange things in my room (including two plants I brought with me - a jade plant and a spider plant - because they're the closest thing I have to a pet right now, and I regard them with the affection usually reserved for sentient creatures), watch a little TV, read - I'm in the middle of five biographies right now: of Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, President Obama, Virginia Woolf, and Jean Cocteau - and make sure I have all my dates and appointments accurately recorded in my planner. I will get a good night's sleep, wake up before the sun tomorrow, take a shower, and get ready for another day of work, and whatever else may happen after - which is really anything, at this point.

Infinite possibility and no one to answer to but myself makes Tony a happy tiger.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Back when it was real, man

Overheard today in San Francisco: Young, scruffy rocker dude, on the sidewalk near Union Square, tells a random group of tourists, "I saw the Stones in concert back in '94, man!" Points to a 20-something tourist girl and says, "You weren't even alive then!" Then his voice trailing after him down the sidewalk: "Those were the REAL days, man! Back when it was REAL!!"